Bulletproof Aura

 

I have a memory of seeing a confident person for the first time in my life. I was at a new school, and we were getting ready to do inter-house athletics. As we were being briefed about what was going to happen, the teacher in charge asked if anyone could come up to the front and explain different athletic codes. The teacher pointed at me to come forward and explain. I was frozen. My heart pounded like an amapiano song bassline. Why would this man ask me to speak in front of a crowd of snickering scholars? Does he not know how brutal high school learners can be? While I was like a deer caught in headlights, this dude who had been leaning against the wall next to me decided to save me the embarrassment I was in for. I still remember he had on pristine suede grasshopper shoes. He cooly said “I will explain” and casually moved to the front of the class to explain high jump, long jump, shot put etc. I Suppose you have also encountered people in your life who have shown so much confidence to a point where you ask yourself, how do they do it?

Confidence is not given, it is earned. Nothing is given in this life except the grace of God. All the confident people that you know have had to earn it. With this missive I plan to send you on a quest to earn your own respect. The respect that you want from others, you must earn from yourself first. If people respect you, they don’t know the full picture of what you had to go through to be who you are. It matters most when you win your own respect because you know from how far you have come and the hurdles you have to overcome. You know the whole story because you were there. there is no lying to yourself unless you are delusional.

Confidence: to have full trust and reliance on one’s abilities or qualities. 

  1. Embrace criticism.

We live in a time of grand delusions. Our delusions have a platform. The more the lies we tell to get likes on social media, the more we believe them. It is easier to avoid people who can mirror for you properly, mentors and coaches. I had the opportunity to approach a guy who is successful in a domain that I am venturing into.  I did not ask him for mentorship because I knew I would be exposed badly. The systems and the work ethic needed to thrive in that space were not there yet. You cannot build confidence by avoiding criticism. To be the man in the arena you must face your shortcoming boldly and rectify them. Confidence cannot be built on delusions or else the whole edifice of who you are will come crashing down when it is tested.

  1. Live life charging.

On the other side of fear is waiting the person you have always wanted to become. Courage is not the absence of fear, but it is moving forward despite the fear. Every time you face a fear, you remove less things you fear from your life. When you don’t fear much, you become powerful. The thing that scares you the most is your next task. Lean into fear. Be bold when making a move or don’t bother at all.

  1. Keep your word.

Your word is your bond. When you do what you said you were going to do, you will have trust in yourself. You will have the confidence in your character and how you are able to execute things.

  1. Accept responsibility for your life.

No one is coming to make your life better for you. No one is coming to save you. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you will do the necessary work of improving your life. When you see the impact of your actions over your life, you will become more confident.

  1. Positive self-talk.

What are the odds that you were affirmed as a child? You teachers called you stupid. You elders chastised you more than they encouraged you. Your priests told you were a sinful wretch. The time has gone to keep blaming those people for the lack of confidence in yourself. You have to build yourself word for word even as a builder lays brick by brick to create an edifice.  Do your affirmations.

  1. Say no.

Just say no, don’t explain, don’t try to make them understand. A simple no will suffice. Protect your energy and your peace of mind at all costs. Don’t allow people to involve you in things you don’t want to be a part of. You will become more confident the more you train your “No” muscle.

  1. Set and smash goals:

Adulthood can sometimes feel like a long to-do list. Without to-do lists, you may feel like a feather drifting in the wind. A to-do list gives you direction as you navigate towards your goals. Seeing yourself ticking off an item on the list is proof of competence. You will gain more respect for yourself. Also, you can do a “what I did list” which is to write what you have done in the day so you can see how much you do.

8. Love!

in the Matrix Neyo the main character has doubts whether he is the one. When he believed he became powerful but when he loved he became an unstoppable force. When you love you can move mountains and stop bullets in their tracks. When you love, they can crucify you and bury you, but you will find a way to rise.

  1. Be religious, Amen!

This is where I lose most of you. Hold on, I am not going to start preaching. Every religion has a component of repetition. You constantly must repeat some ritual. You must be religious about the good habits in your life, whether its exercise, communicating, investing, reading etc. Keep practicing those rituals with the devotion of a monk. You will find confidence in repetition.

Stay on the path of righteousness and be triumphant always

I love you all.

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